Happy Birthday Chris

Tomorrow is my little cousin Christopher's 21 birthday. He will spend it in prison. Not only will he spend it in prison, but he will know that this is the first birthday of his life without his father (who we lost one month ago today), the most important man in his life. Christopher was my first friend. He was the most important peer in my life until I was about 10 or 11 years old. We spent the night together every single night. We played together. He was my best friend in the world. Having been only 358 days younger than me and the only other kid around you can imagine how close the bond was.

I think this was Christmas. We had a lot of fun together.

Tonight, I will go to sleep in my comfortable bed in my safe house. I will kiss my loving husband goodnight and set my alarm on my iPhone. I will wake up tomorrow and take a few steps to get a little closer to finishing my first college degree in just under a month. I have a car (even if it is in the shop), a closet full of clothes, and a group of people surrounding me that love and support me. I have wonderful influences. I have people that are challenging me daily to be a better person.

I grew up in almost the exact same environment as Christopher. We lived next door to each other for much of our lives and only a couple blocks away for the rest. Our parents lived the same lifestyles. We both came from poor families. Why do I get to be different? What happened? I'm by no means knocking the justice system that is punishing my cousin for his mistakes. I'm questioning what led him to make those mistakes and me not to. I'm no more deserving of this life than him. It was all about a few wrong choices, a sequence of mistakes. Life can change so fast.

We are broken. We all are. We all make mistakes. Tonight I'm humbled that my mistakes haven't put me in prison or cost me my family. Tonight, I will try not to take for granted my freedom to live, but more importantly my freedom in Christ. I am humbled by the grace that set me apart. I am completely undeserving and humbled beyond belief.

Happy birthday Christopher. I love you.