Normally I get into school mode about a week before the semester starts. I normally have already completed the first few assignments, and am ready to go by the time the first day arrives. This semester is much different. I cannot seem to get into school mode. We have our first test next Wednesday, and I haven't studied at all. It would appear that I have because I made a huge review for the class, but that wasn't really studying for me. I don't learn through typing. I just kind of do it mindlessly. I hope to make some progress today, but I don't know if that will happen. My head is pounding, and my mind is elsewhere. I'll keep up the wishful thinking, though.
Today church was amazing. Church is great every Sunday, but today it was different. I'm having a day where I am just reflecting on the past few weeks and thinking about my decisions. There's something about breaks from school that seem to bring out the worst in my character. I think I get bored, and begin to fill my time with things before actually thinking those things through. I should really get that under control before I graduate in just over 100 days. Anyway, back to church...did I say that it was amazing? Yes. Amazing. I love to worship. I love the feeling of vulnerability before a God who I know loves me with the most pure love. I have a hard time being vulnerable normally, but before God it is totally different. Don't get me wrong, it hurts to admit who you are and what you've done before a holy, perfect God. It is so amazing to know that He already knows. It is so overwhelming to know that He loved me even when He knew I would betray Him time and time again. Today as I closed my eyes and sang to my creator, my heart rested for a little while. That is the best feeling in the world. I cannot wait to praise His name for eternity. I cannot wait to be free of my flesh.
Later today, I'm going to pose for Randi in my wedding dress so she can get some practice with bridal pictures. My dress has been in my trunk since the wedding. I know that is pitiful, and I should take more care of it. I don't have any emotional connection, though. Maybe one day I'll regret feeling that way, but for now it's just a dress. Needless to say, it is a very wrinkled dress so I think these pictures will be quite amusing. At least she'll get the practice she needs, and I'll get to wear my dress more than once. If I'm not horrified by the pictures, maybe I'll post some here later.
Today is absolutely beautiful. I don't ever want to take for granted that I get to wake up and see the sun shining in the bright blue sky. It is a privilege that some will never know for some reason or another. I wish I could take a blanket to the park and nap feeling the sun shine on my face. I'll settle for practicing bridal pictures. Have an amazing day my friends.
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